


Telescope

by mag_and_mac



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Ash - Freeform, Ashes Scene in Avengers: Infinity War Part 1, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Awesome May Parker (Spider-Man), Belt up kiddies, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Peter Parker, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I hope thanos chokes to death of the corn he farms, I'm Going to Hell, I'm Sorry, May Parker (Spider-Man) Needs a Hug, May Parker Centric, May doesn't know if Peter is safe, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Protective May Parker (Spider-Man), Self-Indulgent, Tony Stark (mentioned) - Freeform, WTF, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?, Why Did I Write This?, Worried May Parker (Spider-Man), Wow, dust - Freeform, just hurt, trust me - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-21 23:56:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17652140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mag_and_mac/pseuds/mag_and_mac
Summary: She picked up her phone with painfully solid hands, and she forced herself to not check on the squeaky kitchen floor. It wasn't him.It was never him.She didn't know where he was. She didn't know if he was on Earth or with the stars. She didn't know if he was dead or breathing.She didn't know where he was, but it wasn't with her.





	Telescope

_09:06; Where are you?_

_10:14; Peter, honey, the school emailed already. I know the field trip was cancelled._

_10:27; Did the bus get you to school safely? I'll come pick you up._

_10:30; Are you okay?_

_10:41; Please answer me, honey_

_10:45; Where are you?_

_10:52; We should go get Thai for lunch_

_11:01; Please come home_

_11:03; Peter, where'd you go?_

She knew where he was. 

Of course she knew where he was. 

She knew it before she had began texting him, but she still tried because she always did.

She knew as soon as he failed to answer the first text, because Peter might not be the most reliable in everything, but he always had his ringer set to the most obnoxiously loud setting it could be.

Her cellular plan was the cheapest one she could find. It barely connected if the buildings around her were too tall; she couldn't imagine Peter receiving her messages in space.

She didn't get Thai for lunch.

It was one in the afternoon when the hospital emailed her asking for her to work. So many people were hurt.

She closed the email, and pretended she had never seen it.

_13:16; Baby, tell me you're not in space_

_13:18; is your phone dead?_

_13:24; Come home_

She pressed her lips tight, and walked to the other side of the room. She didn't know why. 

She didn't know why she picked up the cheap, black telescope she had given to Ben for his birthday. 

Peter had insisted that Ben put it together immediately, and they had spent the night trying desperately to see some stars shine through the permanent fog that clouded New York's night sky.

Peter hadn't been upset that they couldn't see anything. May had walked out to the balcony just in time to witness the moment. Peter had leaned away from the telescope, and into her husband's chest. 

"It's okay, Uncle Ben," He had said, still looking up at the sky, "One day i'm gonna become an astronaut, and you and me are gonna see the stars for real."

May had been standing silently in the doorway as she watched Ben chuckle out a response.

"Promise?"

Peter had nodded firmly, and leaned his head back against his uncle's shoulder.

_16:48; Why'd you do this?_

She didn't eat dinner, either. Had Peter eaten dinner?

She forced herself to believe that was her biggest concern about him. 

_19:34; You always do things like this_

She knew Tony was in space, too, and she might not love the man, but he loved Peter. 

Her muscles were rubber, and her throat felt like it was collapsing in on itself, but there were more important things to focus on.

She didn't bother to text him again that day.

It was five hours after a sleepless night when she finally forced herself to entertain the idea that he might have died.

He couldn't have, though. He had promised her.

When she had found out about Spider-Man, she had tried to convince him to stop.

"I won't die from this, May. That's the whole point. I'm not gonna do that to you."

"Promise?" 

"Of course."

May had only responded by lightly slapping the back of his head. "You dumb-ass. You're gonna give me a heart attack one day."

He had laughed, and she had pretended she didn't lie awake every night until she heard him crawl though his window.

It was an hour before noon when the building began to tremble, and she looked out of the window to see three cars smashed into the first floor. It wasn't a minute after that when she heard a scream from behind the kitchen wall, and jumped because the lovely lady who lived on that side of her apartment almost never made a sound.

She thought about knocking, but decided against it. The emergency was more pressing than politeness. She opened the thin, white door to meet the horrified blue eyes of her neighbour as her arms crumbled to the floor, and she couldn't say a word as the woman was turned to dust in front of her. The ash disappeared with an origin-less blow of wind.

May took a step back into the corridor with wide eyes, not bothering to close the door. She heard the faint whistle of wind from the closed door of her other neighbor. She forced herself not to check on it.

Her mind was screaming, and she fumbled back into her own apartment. She left the door half open as her weak attempt to push it shut failed. She didn't care.

She ran to her phone and picked it up with her painfully solid hands, as she ignored the wall of blue on her screen. She sent a desperate text to her nephew, which was answered with the same response all her messages had been for the past day. She called him four times, but gave up after slamming her open palm against the fake wood of her dining table.

When, later that evening, the news told her that fifty percent of all living organisms had disappeared, she smothered the part of herself that burned with hope. That part of her promised her he was alive. She knew he wasn't. Nobody around her ever was.

He was dead

He wasn't alive.

He was ash.

She repeated it to herself until she believed it. She said it every day until she knew it.

It didn't stop her from shooting up from her seat every time the old floor in the kitchen creaked. 

It didn't stop her from lying awake every night, listening for the tell-tale squeak of his window.

She still flinched every time she saw a brown-haired teenager, and she still turned around every time the wind grazed her shoulders and whispered her name in her ear. 

She didn't know why she still turned, because it was never him calling for her. It was her own mind taunting her.

She didn't know why she still had hope that it was him in the kitchen, because it was never anything more than the still half-demolished building struggling to settle.

She didn't know why she listened for the window, because it hadn't been opened for months.

She didn't know where her nephew was. If he was in space or on Earth. If he was alive or dead. If he was solid or ash.

_10:48; Where are you?_


End file.
